Out of nowhere…

twelve 9 seventeen

The words of a stranger seem incapable of production in today’s society. We are surrounded by the world of technology and a user interface that promotes screen time, instead of face-to-face interaction. This basic substance of human-communication is actually my love language.

I feed and live off of words of affirmation and encouragement. When someone tells me I am doing a good job, then and only then do I allow myself to believe that I am. But why do the words of someone else contribute more to my opinion of myself, than my own being and thoughts?

Like many others, I was bullied as a kid. Growing up is not easy for a (fat) ginger kid. I was often picked on by other kids. I don’t even recall many of the encounters, but my mother can¬†remember¬†them. She remembers that I was called a “poser” because¬†I would wear brands of clothing but not actually do whatever the brand was associated with. I don’t recall the bullying event, but I do know that I have a strong opinion and am against wearing any clothing item with a logo or any kind of design.

This singular event, that I could not even remember impacted my entire life.

This is why I allow the opinions of others make waves of influence in my daily life. I am affected by a traumatizing¬†history (that I don’t remember) but my inner self can. It allows it to have¬†firm-impact and grab hold of my own ability to realize my own good, value, worth,¬†and achievements. No matter what I do, I always feel it is not enough, because if someone doesn’t recognize it than it was not good enough.

Since the words of someone make such impact in my life, the blessed moments of angels around me uplift me and help me regain strength in myself. The words of a school-mate recently brought much rejuvenation after much stress at work, where I felt inadequate.

She sent me a message via LinkedIn which reads:

“I want it said of me by those who knew me best, that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow.” – Abraham Lincoln

She then followed with a perosnal message: “Hey Jake, I thought of you when I read this. You always had the ability to better everything you had a hand in. Hope all is well with you!”

When I needed it most, God sent me an angel in the form of a school-mate and she sent me some words that I needed to hear that day. She was watching, she saw me and saw my potential. She recognized my worth and my value. She recognized the impact I could make in the world, if I allowed myself too. She said many things in our conversation, but what mattered most were the things I felt. So thank you to my guardian angels, and to this special school-mate for making my day.

 

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